How annoying are your Facebook updates?

Most of your friends’ Facebook updates are painfully annoying. You’d unfriend them, but fear they’d be upset. And besides, you don’t know how.

Everyone on Facebook can fit into at least one of 21 different personalities. Below are the 21 different types of personalities and their typical annoying updates. Which Facebook personality are you?

 

The workaholic

It’s 10pm, guess I’m leaving the office EARLY tonight!

They should install a bed below my desk because I practically live at work!

This job is the only thing in my life that makes me feel important.

 

The jet-setter

I only got business class to Singapore and not first class. UGH!!!!!!

SFO -> JFK -> LHR -> HEL -> SAD

I never see my wife and kids, LOL!

 

The gym rat

Getting in a quick workout before breakfast.

I just ran 13km with Endomondo.

People certainly don’t like me for my personality, so I gotta workout everyday!

 

The annoying guy who wishes he was a comedian

Hey, check out my latest blog post!!

Rape, fuck, AIDS, douchebag, sucks, donkey punch, blowjobs!!!!!

SHITTING!!!

 

The concerned family member

Your updates seem really dark lately. What’s wrong?

Remember, I’m always here for you if you need me.

Call me.

 

The Social Media Manager who uses social media to only talk about social media

10 ways to improve your blog’s SEO

8 things to include in every corporate YouTube video

5 ways to make your Facebook updates more interesting and stop boring your friends

 

The naive paranoid internet idiot

If you don’t send this to ten of your friends, the man in this photo will appear behind your couch and MURDER YOU!!

In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, graphics, comics, paintings, photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!

Go to Facebook -> Privacy -> Settings, then check “Privacy? No one cares about my boring life”

 

The old high school acquaintance with the boob job who changes her profile pic daily

 

The foreigner

Om du läser detta, du är en skitstövel.

Als je dit leest, ben je een lul.

Kung binabasa mo ito, ikaw ay isang asshole.

 

The big spender

If Apple sells it, I’m buying it!

Trying to decide if we should goto Italy or Greece this Christmas. Hmmmmm…. Any suggestions??

Hey old classmates, check out how much money I have!! Who’s the loser now!?

 

The drunk sports fan

RAAAAAVVVVEEENNSSS!!!!!!

GRAND SLAM!! OMGG!!!!!!

I AM VERY ALONE!!!!!

 

The mom whose profile pic is of her kids, and only writes updates about those kids

Just one month until Caleb’s birthday!

How cute, Caleb is climbing on the roof again!

I’m not going to make the same mistakes my parents made on me!

 

The Ron Paul crazy person

Shut down the Federal Reserve!!!

They’re trampling on our constitution!!

Why doesn’t anyone invite me to dinner parties anymore!?!?

 

The Farmville gamer

Jennifer needs some Candy Trays!
Jennifer is making some tastey treats for Cornelius the Village Grocer and needs some extra Candy Trays.

Hey! Here is a Gift Pack of FREE Coins just for you! Collect your Gift and send me some back too!

I’m just pissing away time until I die.

 

Person who always capitalizes ‘Him’ and never spells ‘G-d’

Before entering the woods, we all kneeled and prayed to G-d. He delivered. A 14-point buck!!

Do not question Him. Give praise and He will bring you joy.

We’re back at the emergency room. Caleb fell off the house again.

 

Dude who take Instagram photos of food for no apparent reason

 

The girl who has nothing to write, but writes anyway

Lunch time!!

Off to the gym!

Tired.

 

Your racist friend

Barack HUSSEIN Obama

What will happen next? People will want to marry their DOGS!

I’m voting for Mitt Romney.

 

Guy who only posts cryptic updates

Today was just really, really tough.

I soooo can’t wait for tomorrow!

I got nothing go on my life, so I’ll try to sound important.

 

The girl who’s Facebook account got hacked

hey this person is writing dreadful things that are about you bit.ly/NxP60e

 

The dude who’s friends sent updates while he was in the bathroom

poopin’

 

Which ones am I missing?

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